It dawned on me that tomorrow I will have been twice adult. As in 18 years times two. I will have been adult as long as I had been non-adult :-). So really, now is the ultimate time to let go and stop putting any power over my life into anybody else’s hands other than mine.
I wrote a little diary . Kind of Tweet diary of those 18 years AND LESSONS LEARNED, little truths I live by:
I am….and LESSONS LEARNED
18…I pass my maturita exam and TJ dies in a car accident at the afterparty. Carpe Diem.
USE SEAT BELTS AND CONDOMS. ALWAYS.
19…I stop running and start going to cafés…also accepted to uni to do art history and english
EXPLORE
20…I keep going between the UK and Czech to see you (my ex-husband)
TRAVEL
21…I get a scholarship to Frankfurt and Cologne, I start drawing a bit.
LEARN
22…I get married
COMMIT (WHEN YOU ARE SURE AND READY)
23…I am lost, and found
GO YOUR OWN WAY
24…I nearly kill myself
DON’T LEAT ANYBODY GET YOU DOWN! EVER!
25…I nearly go crazy living with you, become Bc.
TRUST YOURSELF. ONLY.
26…I go crazy…under medical supervision
TRUST YOURSELF. NOT YOUR MIND.
27…I teach, translate and work for the NG, I meet you (Richard)
DON’T HIDE IN THE WORK.
28…We live together in Prague
ENJOY. CRY IF NEED BE.
29…I leave the NG, stop taking medication, RIAPS, start arting, Pilsen, Wales, NYC trip
GET HELP IF YOU NEED IT.
30…I run the Prague marathon
DO WHAT YOU LIKE
31…I become Mgr., art teacher, we split up
YES, YOU CAN. DO. IT. MAKE IT. TOO.
32…We reunite and I am looking for my place in the world again, ECoc
NEVER GIVE UP ON YOURSELF.
33…I have moved to Klatovy to be with you…work in the gallery
FOLLOW YOUR GUT INSTINCTS AND YOUR HEART. NOT FEAR.
34…I undergo embolism, warfarin, healing the body, leaving for London, Geoffrey, psychotic attack
PRAY. GET SECOND OPINION.
35…I am recovering
LET GO. FORGIVE, DON’T FORGET.
36 …I am breathing. I am, and glad about it too….
BREATHE. PEACE.
TBC!
I just wonder…what are your little or big truths you live by?
Let me know!
