The two artificial tulips hanging in my studio have become a starting point for exploration of or a metaphor for my inner states of being while in withdrawal from prescription drugs. Definitely on the feeling side kind of paintings. Felt lot better for having painted them. Pain, doubt, loss…all transmuted into something else. Hopefully!
Two weeks ago I started taking another generic form of my drug…and sure enough the fact that its producers are only obliged to guarantee eighty percent of active substance…lead to me going through some really intense experiences which I painted myself through:
through the feelings, flashbacks and realizations of who in me was locked up at that isolation cell in a czech clinic when I had my breakdown all those years ago…true #artofwithdrawal.
My body seems to have gotten used to it now…so perhaps some time for more cuppas. Hope you are all well in the new year!
This week I have started my yearly reflection of sorts. Do you do yours? I have been doing this publicly (semi, kinda) by sharing my #artingadvent calendar pieces along with their inspirations. Daily I share one of this year’s pieces and reflect on its initial inspiration as well as life, asking you light probing questions.
For more daily a/musings head over to my instagram.
While doing this more things have been unearthed and created…such as another set of #shosteeto jewellery (if you are a fan, let me know, I can create your own original from silver, upcycled plastics and museum beads) and a start of a semi-Christmasy prints. Enjoy the process, I am.
I have also been looking at my ongoing series work, from #teddylost to #tracingmyself and been reflecting and sharing more of those. All there. Enjoy.
No, I have not been smoking Galoises, or anything else, for that matter, but, to stick with the tabacco advertisement theme…life has been marleyvous (that is an even older one, sorry sorry) this past week as I allowed my body and mind to rest this time of the month. Yes, that time of the month…and we are nearing the full moon too.
I have been following the work on female cyclicality for quite some time and dipping in and out of it. This time round I really feel I have cracked it though, or rather, gone deeper another notch. Miranda Gray’s book has been re-dusted and reopened at exactly the right time and with the right message.
Also, on the female body theme, have been dusting up some Sweating my Prayers by late Gabrielle Roth. That and her The Wave. Early in the morning, have been waking up with the sun, the circadian cycle syncing this time of the year. I have been usually up and dancing in the garden by six (don’t tell the neighbours)…following a practice and morning pages writing.
This week, when slowing down, pleasuring up I have re-read the morning pages from this past month…and made a note of all the ideas and thoughts I had not acted upon…boy, am I clear in the morning and then forgetting all about it…perhaps the dance should come before the writing? I wonder. Have tried inking the daily most important thing on my fingers, have not done this since year five…. as been struggling mentally at times, as I prepare for the taper…one day at a time.
As you can see, I have been getting back to my body and tweaking my morning routine. I have one for the evening too, in a kind of a bujo (bullet journal) format, when I am counting my gratitudes, gifts and gains. That and five to follow. If intrigued and want to know more or if you have particularly good bracketing routines that work for you, let me know. Just drop a line at firstname.lastname@example.org. Looking forward to sharing.
More on arting, writing and dreams in the making next week…then I will have gone through the dynamic phase and have something to show for them again, in a natural flow…literally.
Meantime, enjoy the summer, if you can…sending my support to the floods in Germany, tornado in Moravia, The Prem Rawat Foundation Covid-19 Relief Support and Extinction Rebellion in London while digging the garden and feeling extremely grateful for being this fortunate, for the time being, anyway.
The withdrawal process is seemingly unpredictable and requires a good measure of “go with the flow”, do what you need to do RIGHT NOW, stay in the MOMENT.
I have been infamously rubbish at it. Learning. Bear with me.
I have been running away from the now, the feelings, the e-motions and physical sensations, allowing my mind either to roam the vast range of regrets in the past or indulge in the promises of the future.
Bugger that. HEEEERE and NOW, my body, mind and spirit require me, to be. Right here, right now, keeping calm, keeping on keeping on….and CHILLing.
Art, i.e. in my case what I call arting has been really helpful. It really is art, I am just still too selfconscious to call it Art with capital A, let alone myself an artist, after thirteen years and counting…when is it gonna finish??? or click?!…, AND/BUT more importantly I really enjoy the processuality of that word ARTING. Bit like playing, messing about, goofing with…whatever.
Anyway…my art…arting has proved a saving grace once again. Above a couple of snapshots from the studio as it is at the moment.
#seemetoseeyourself portraits #couloringbooksforbiggirlswhodontcry, mess on my picture board (how did Nicole Kidman and reinterpretation of Origine du Monde with a butterfly get on there???) and my nest, with the aforementioned affirmative chilling cushion.
What I am trying to say…when I chill, like proper…stop harassing myself for being in recovery, in withdrawal, not in a (proper) job (DOH!!!), being a fake and all the associated nonsense my negative mind churns up on a second to second basis…I can actually just enjoy the peace that is within. AND THAT…is SOMEHING ELSE…then I can create from a place of joy, as in “radost” in Czech, and as we know there is never enough joy…not enough joy in enjoy and “radosti neni snad nikdy dosti”. Only there is more and more…when I allow myself to notice it.
So…I wish you a merry rest of the holiday season, and check out #premrawat if you get a minute. It is SOOO worth it. I just keep forgetting…and need to be reminded…all the time. Honest.
In May I am running this unique mixture of visual art training and art therapy self-experiential challenge: #becometheartistyouare.
For a month, in twenty-minutes a day (minimum) you will unblock, find, explore and develop your own arting inspirations and learn more about your world, yourself and the things in between in the process.
This is how (a curtain pulled, syllabus revealed).
All you need is yourself, your phone camera, a pencil and a sketchbook. That will do to start with.
Week One is all about getting rid our our arting fears and finding and developing our own ways of seeing
Day 0 — Looking at where we are
Day 1 — Making a baad drawing
Day 2 — Drawing a Line
Day 3 — Looking and Seeing
Day 4 — Seeing some more
Day 5 — Write up your Seeing manifesto
Day 6 — Show and Tell
Day 7 — Arting Reflection
Week 2 is all about learning from your favourite artist’s work, which speaks to you the most currently. You learn authentically from them and about yourself.
Day 8 — Inspired By: Your choice
Day 9 — Inspired By: How was it made?
Day 10 — Inspired By: What does it mean?
Day 11 — Inspired By: What did they mean?
Day 12 — Inspired By: What does it mean to me?
Day 13 — Inspired By: Show and Tell — My Inspired Answer
Day 14 — Arting Reflection
Week 3 and Week 4 are devoted to developing the material you have created using elements and guiding principles of art and design…and looking at what it all means for yourself too.
Day 15 — Nothing/ness
Day 16 — Point and Line
Day 17 — Shape
Day 18 — Texture
Day 19 — Space
Day 20 — Time and/in Motion
Day 21 — Value
Day 22 — Color
Day 23 — Unity/Harmony
Day 24 — Balance
Day 25 — Scale/Proportion
Day 26 — Contrast/Emphasis
Day 27 — Rhythm
Week 5 is about preparing to Show and Tell, to share authentically what you have created. And…deciding how to move on.
Day 28 — Looking at it all and seeing what it means
Day 29 — Choices, Choices
Day 30 — Preparing to show/share
Day 31 — Show and Tell: #becometheartistyouare
Day 32 — Celebrate and Reflect
Day 33 — Where next?
Daily I am sending out the arting prompt direct to your inbox. When you put in the arting work, and follow/spend time on these arting prompts daily, you are guaranteed to get your arting juices back, develop a creating habit/discipline and take your arting to the next level. As well as discover things about yourself you did not know or did not acknowledge fully. You #becometheartistyouare. More of herself.
There is a friendly and safe community in place to share your ahas, questions and observations. Ready to join us? Go here.